Above and Beyond

Thea walked into the dining room to find its round wooden table littered with Teddy Bears, stationery, envelopes, and an array of colored pens. Benjamin sat in the middle of the table, surrounded by Brighton, Mack, Kippy, Mr. Fluffy, Letta, Sassafras, Shoshonna, and Mickey. They busied themselves intently scribbling notes, addressing envelopes, and checking off lists. Gracie, our winged Teddy Bear, hovered above them, lending her gentle support.

“I’m glad to see all of you being so industrious,” Thea commented. “What is so important that all of you have to work so hard on it?”

“We’re writing invitations to our annual Thanksgiving Dinner for everyone at the Valiant Teddy Retirement Sanctuary and Home,” Shoshonna explained.

“Oh,” said Thea. “I didn’t realize that Teddies ever retired.”

“Well, not voluntarily,” Mr. Fluffy told her.

“You mean they’re forced to retire?” Thea asked in amazement.

“Yes, sadly,” Sassafras said. “Though not without protest from their young wards.”

“What do you mean?” Thea asked.

“Often it’s the child’s parents who decide the Teddy is no longer welcome in the family,” Sassafras explained. “Sometimes children love their Teddies so much, they end up wearing the Teddies down. Large patches of fur get rubbed away, ears get chewed off, eyes pop out and even fall off. Sometimes an arm or a leg gets torn off. Oh, it can be horrible. Essentially they almost get loved to death.” The other Teds sniffled a little at Sassafras’s explanation. Brighton, Mickey, and Shoshonna each wiped a tear or two from their eyes.

“Not all Teds are lucky enough to live in a comfy and cozy place like we do,” Sassafras noted. “Eventually, the parents become concerned that the poor Ted might become a hazard for their child. Or maybe they just decide to replace the worn-out Ted with a brand-new one. Either way, the old Ted gets thrown away in the end.”

“That’s so sad,” Thea said quietly.

“Yes, isn’t it?” Sassafras asked. “But not every Ted who gets retired ends up in such sad shape. The luckier ones simply get retired by parents who decide their child is too old to be friends with Teddy Bears any longer.”

“Well, that’s not fair!” Thea couldn’t help saying.

“Of course not,” said Kippy. “But when has that stopped grown-ups from doing whatever they want?”

“Oh, I’m sure they believe they’re only doing what’s best for their children,” said Mr. Fluffy, patting Kippy on his left paw. “They just don’t know any better.”

“That’s why Benjamin has begun a campaign to educate human beans and Teds alike about the tragic origins and consequences of Ted abuse,” Brighton said, beaming proudly at Benjamin. All of the other Teds gave him a look of respect and admiration, too.

“Well, that’s very thoughtful and admirable of you, Benjamin dear,” Thea told him, reaching over and taking him in her arms and giving him a kiss and a great big hug.

“Thanks, Mommola,” he murmured bashfully. “It’s nothing, really. Anybody would do the same thing if they had the chance.”

“That may be,” Thea told him, giving him another kiss and hug, “but you are the one who’s doing it, and I’m very proud of you.”

“I’m not the only one working on the campaign,” Benjamin protested. “Everybody here is working on it, too. So are Biwi and Birnie and everyone else. Even Itsy and the little ones are doing their part.”

Looking up at the rest of the Teds, Thea added, “I’m proud of all of you. You are doing a very loving thing.”

Everyone looked bashful now. Mack began putting gold stars for all of them in his good behavior/bad behavior record book.

Thea set Benjamin back down in the place of honor in the middle of the table. As she did so, she happened to notice the camcorder on the table.

“What do you use that for?” she asked, pointing at the camcorder.

“That’s for the Lasting Memories project that Kippy started,” Brighton explained. “He and Letta use it when they ask residents at the Sanctuary to share their stories with other Teds and human beans.”

“So you’re recording their life stories?” Thea asked.

“Or whatever they want to tell us about themselves,” Letta said. “Sometimes they just tell a story about something that happened to them or someone they knew, things like that.”

“It must be very interesting to hear all of the stories they have to tell,” Thea said.

“Oh, it is,” said Kippy, “but some of their stories can be very sad, too.”

“Lots of them are sweet memories, though,” Letta was quick to add.

“And they can be very inspirational,” observed Mr. Fluffy.

“Might I hear a story or two?” Thea asked.

Letta, Kippy, Mr. Fluffy, and Sassafras looked at each other. Gracie floated a little lower to the table, then fluttered her wings and rose up closer to the ceiling. “If you want to,” Letta finally answered, softly. “But the ones we have available right now are kind of sad.”

“They’re very sad,” Sassafras interjected with concern.

“Are you sure you want to hear them right now?” Mr. Fluffy asked.

“Oh, my,” said Thea. “Well, of course I want to hear them. Especially if they’re very sad. I want to know about everything Teddies have to live through, even if it doesn’t make me feel very comfortable. There might be something I can do to help if I know more about the kinds of difficulties Teddies find themselves in at times.”

“That’s what Benjamin always says,” Brighton said, again giving Benjamin a proud look.

“Would you like to sit down while you listen to the story?” Mr. Fluffy asked Thea.

“Yes, perhaps I should,” Thea said, as she pulled out a chair and sat down at the table.

Kippy picked up the camcorder and pushed a couple of buttons. “This is Heddy’s story,” he told Thea. “She’s actually relatively young compared to the rest of the residents at the Sanctuary. But she…well, I should let her tell her own story.” So saying, he pushed the play button, and Heddy’s sweet little face appeared on the screen of the camcorder.

The fur of her small, honey-bear body must have been quite fluffy and soft at one time. Now it looked rumpled and compressed, but it still seemed to be all there, at least. Both sparkly little eyes were still in place, too, and she had both ears, although her left ear looked to be permanently folded forward against her forehead. Initially looking down and chewing her lips, she sighed, looked up at the camera and smiled tentatively, then in a small, soft voice began to tell her story.

“Jimmy was my second ward, really. Abby was my first. Her father brought me home from a business trip as a surprise for her when she was a little over one year old. I didn’t get to stay with her all that long, though. The family moved before she turned two, and I got left behind in the shuffle. Somebody rescued me and gave me to Goodwill, where Jimmy found me when his mama and he were shopping there.”

There was a moment of silence as Heddy seemed to look off in the distance behind the camera before she blinked a little and then took up her story again. “It was love at first sight for both of us, I think. He was five years old and a very lonely little boy. I found out later that he was usually a very quiet and unassuming little boy. It must have surprised his mother when he grabbed me up and begged her to let him take me home with him. She kept telling him she didn’t have the money to waste on a stuffed toy for him, but he wouldn’t give up.

“Eventually she gave in and let him carry me around the store while she finished her shopping. But once they got to the cashier, she tried to get him to give me up, and they ended up in a pulling match, with me in the middle. Luckily enough for me, the cashier lady took pity on little Jimmy and told his mother not to worry about it, he could keep me if he wanted, no charge. At first his mother didn’t want to do it. She said she didn’t take charity from nobody. But the cashier lady said it wasn’t charity; it was a gift to her little boy, and not to worry about it, the store wouldn’t miss what little money they wanted for me anyway. So Jimmy’s mother finally let him keep me. Oh, he hugged me so close when she told him he could have me!

“As we went out the door, I saw the cashier lady take some money out of her purse and put it in the cash register. I guess she was paying for me herself. That’s how I know some human beans can be angels.”

There was a long pause again. Once again Heddy stared off into the distance, hardly moving, except for the barest flicker of her right ear now and then. At about the time Thea began to think Heddy’s story had come to an end, she began telling it again.

“I’m glad the lady cashier was such an angel because I didn’t get to see any angels again for a really long time. Except for Jimmy, of course. He was my little angel.

“Jimmy and I were best friends right from the start. He had just turned five. He lived alone with his mother and his baby sister. And his mother’s boyfriend, if you could count him. He wasn’t around a lot of the time. Which was good because he was a mean man. Especially when he and Jimmy’s mother had been drinking a lot or taking drugs. Which they did way too much. Nobody ever paid much attention to Jimmy except for me.

“So Jimmy and I spent a lot of time together. He would talk about how he wished his real father would come back and take him and his mother and little sister away from all of it, so they could live happily ever after. I would tell him stories and tell him I loved him. And we would hug and cuddle a lot. A real lot. I think I was the only one who ever hugged him.

“It’s not that the grown-ups treated him really badly, other than not paying all that much attention to him. Just as well they didn’t because it was when they paid attention that he got in trouble with them. Usually they would yell at him. They hardly ever hit him. They hit each other more.”

Heddy became quiet again. This time, however, her snout twitched, and she grimaced at some memory. She looked close to tears for a moment, then composed herself, looked down at her lap, and slowly continued. “It was when Jimmy’s mother’s boyfriend started hitting his mother that Jimmy got the most upset. He would want to make her boyfriend stop, but he knew from past experience that he couldn’t. Every time he’d tried before, her boyfriend had hit him or thrown him across the room and then started hitting his mother even harder.  

“So all he could do was huddle in a corner, hide his head, and hug me as tight as he could. He would hold me so tight I could hear his heart beat with awful anger, fear, and despair. He rarely cried. I’m not sure he could anymore. But he hugged me tight against him and whispered, ‘Make him stop. Make him stop. Make him stop.’

“Finally someone called the police, who came and took his mother and her boyfriend away. Social services came and took Jimmy and me away, too. In the end he was sent to a foster family who decided he needed to make as clean a break with his past as he could. That meant getting rid of me, too, much as it broke Jimmy’s heart, and mine, too.

“I ended up in a garbage dumpster in an alley. I had about given up hope when I heard someone say, ‘Hey, little Teddie! Can you grab hold of my paw?’ When I looked up, there was a panda bear reaching down to me from above. Later he introduced himself as Biwi. He and Birnie and Itsy were out on their regular rounds of dumpsters, looking for retired Teddies, when they found me. They called James on Birnie’s Tphone, and he came and got us in the Teddy Bear College limousine. They invited me to come and live at the Sanctuary, and I’ve been here ever since.”

The room was very quiet except for the little click of Kippy turning off the camcorder. Everyone was dabbing at their eyes and clearing their throats. Thea got up and retrieved a box of tissues for everyone.

Sitting back down again, she said, “Well, that certainly was a very sad story.” Everyone nodded their heads, but no one spoke. They did not yet trust their voices. “So how is Heddy doing these days?” Thea asked.

“She’s doing really well,” Letta said. “She loves it at the Sanctuary. She says she has found a whole new family there.”

“She still misses Jimmy, though,” Brighton said quietly.

“And I’m afraid she still has bad dreams about those times,” said Mr. Fluffy. “She has a hard time hugging people, too.”

“Things will get better for her with time,” said Shoshonna. “Won’t they?”

“Things are better for her already,” Sassafras reassured Shoshonna. “She will have all the time and support she needs to make peace with the bad times she went through before she arrived at the Sanctuary. It may not always be easy for her, but she has the opportunity to make new and more positive memories for herself with the loving support of all of her new friends and family.”

Sassafras sighed. “Retired Teddies like Heddy are the hardest for us to help. Even those who come to us with a missing eye or torn leg can be fixed up almost as good as new by our Teddy doctors and nurses. They can still benefit from all the love and care we can provide them with, of course. Those that come to us with inner scars often take the longest to heal. But they do heal, with time and plenty of love.”

Thea looked slowly around the table, gazing deeply into each Ted’s eyes. “I am so proud of all of you,” she told them again. “I know that every Ted appreciates the value of looking out for the welfare of others. That's what you are all made for, after all.

“But what you’re doing with the Sanctuary goes above and beyond that. The help you give other Teds comes straight from the heart.”

“Every Ted at the Sanctuary has given above and beyond The Teddy Code!” Benjamin exclaimed. “They are an inspiration for us all. They deserve our love and care.”

“And they aren’t done giving even now!” added Mickey.

“Indeed,” agreed Mr. Fluffy. “They still go out on missions of mercy, visiting Old People’s Homes, hospitals, group homes…wherever there’s somebody who needs a hug and a snuggle. They are truly examples to us all.”

“They wouldn’t be able to continue their good work, though,” Thea observed, “if you didn’t provide them with the love and support they need.”

“Hey, Mommola’s right!” rumbled Mack in his deep, gravelly voice. “Every good deed we do when we rescue retired Teds and give them a place to live and make friends is doubled and tripled by all of the good deeds they do in turn!”

Mack’s excited outburst left everyone else speechless. He rarely spoke at all, let alone stringing together more than five or six words at a time. He must have just set a record for himself.

Just then Biwi’s Tphone, which was lying in the middle of the table, rang – or, rather, played a refrain from John Philip Sousa, and Brighton answered it. “Yes, but he’s very busy right now. What? On Thanksgiving? I don’t know. Let me ask him.”

Putting the phone on mute, she turned to Benjamin and said, “It’s the office of the Secretary General of the U.N. on the phone. They want you to give a keynote speech on Ted abuse on Thanksgiving.”

Everyone was stunned, not least of all Benjamin himself. Eventually, though, he shook himself and said, “Uh, tell them I thank them for the honor, and that I really would like the opportunity to bring these important issues before the international community. But I’m afraid I can’t make it on Thanksgiving day.”

Everyone gasped at that. Benjamin turning down the opportunity to be the center of so much attention?

But Brighton smiled at him and blew him a silent kiss. He smiled back, puckered his lips at her, and said, “Just tell them I have a previous engagement that’s very important to me. I wouldn’t dream of not attending. Perhaps another time.”

Brighton passed on Benjamin’s message, while Thea picked him back up again, kissed him, and hugged him tight. Everyone else beamed at him with a new degree of respect.

Putting the phone back on mute, Brighton turned to Benjamin and said, “They understand completely and respectfully ask if you could give the keynote address the evening of Winter Solstice, December 21.”

“Umm, yes, I think I’m free that evening,” Benjamin replied. “Tell them I’d love to do it, if I can bring a contingent of Teds from the Sanctuary along with me.”

After passing that message along, Brighton smiled suddenly, then told Benjamin, “They think that would be an excellent idea. In fact, they wonder if any of the retired Teds would like to tell their stories after you speak.”

Benjamin looked to Kippy, Letta, Sassafras, and Mr. Fluffy. Kippy said, “Oh, I’m sure we can find several of them more than willing to share their memories with the world.”

So that was agreed, and Benjamin, Teddy Bear College, and the Valiant Teddy Retirement Sanctuary and Home were given a venue to get the word out to the world about Ted abuse.

As Brighton said goodbye and got off the phone, Itsy’s voice rang out clear as a bell from outside, “Benjamin!”

“Oh, no, now what?” Benjamin grumbled under his breath.

The back door opened and Itsy, Lilly-pop, Sparkie, and Waldo came tumbling in. “We finded him, Benjamin!” Itsy called out.

“Yeah, we finded him!” the other three shouted in chorus.

Looking sheepishly up at his mommola, Benjamin walked over to the edge of table, looked down at Itsy and the other little ones on the floor, and asked, “Who did you find?”

“Him!” Itsy responded.

“OoOh!” Benjamin harrumphed. “Him who? What are you talking about?”

“Henry,” she said. “We finded Henry, like you said.”

“Henry? I don’t know any Henry,” Benjamin said, genuinely puzzled. Looking at the rest of the Teds on the table, he asked, “Do any of you know a Henry or what she’s talking about?”

Everyone shook their heads no. Then Shoshonna suggested, “Maybe he’s a turkey.”

“Oh,” Benjamin said quietly, then looked up sheepishly at Thea again.

“What’s a turkey got to do with anything?” Thea asked him, suspiciously.

“Oh, well, uh,” he hemmed and hawed. “Um, remember how I told you even Itsy and the little ones were helping us get ready for the Thanksgiving Dinner at the Sanctuary?”

“Yes, I remember,” she answered.

“Uh, well,” Benjamin responded quietly, “I kinda asked them to go find us a turkey for the dinner.”

“What? A turkey?”

“Well, that’s what you have for Thanksgiving dinner!” he defended himself. “So, uh, when Itsy and the little ones asked what they could do to help, I just sorta told them they could help by finding us a turkey for our dinner.”

“And exactly where did you expect they were going to find this turkey?” Thea asked.

“Oh, well,” he gulped and blushed, “I didn’t really think they would find a turkey. I just thought, um, that was something that would keep them…occupied while we worked on the invitations. And they would feel like they were helping out.” Looking up at his mommola, he quickly added, “I was going to tell her not to worry about it if she didn’t find one by the time we finished!”

“Yes, I’m sure you were,” Thea responded.

“Benjamin!” Itsy called up at him again.

“What!?” Benjamin snapped back.

“Do you want to meet him?” Itsy asked.

“Who?” Benjamin asked back.

“Henry!” Itsy replied.

“He’s here?” Benjamin asked weakly.

From outside the door they could hear a “gobble gobble gobble.”

“Oh, no,” groaned Benjamin.

But by this time Itsy had opened the door again. Standing right outside it was the biggest and most bedraggled wild turkey anyone had ever seen. “Gobble gobble,” he greeted them.

“Um, pleased to meet you, I’m sure,” replied Benjamin. Then, in a whispered aside to Brighton he complained, “We can’t cook him! He looks old! He’d probably taste really gamey!”

“Benjamin Bear,” Thea admonished him firmly, “don’t you dare even consider cooking Henry!”

“But what are we going to do with him?” Benjamin wanted to know. “Itsy’s already invited him to the dinner!”

“Surely, one plate more isn’t going to make a difference,” Thea observed.

“Mommola!” objected Benjamin.

“Tell him we’re looking forward to seeing him there,” she instructed him.

“Oh, all right,” he grumbled.

“I guess we’re having ham for dinner this year,” Brighton told everyone.

“But I like turkey!” complained Benjamin.

“It’s not what you eat for dinner that matters,” Thea told him gently. “It’s the company you keep that makes the day.”

“Yes,” Mr. Fluffy agreed quietly, “it’s a day we give thanks for the fullness of our hearts not our bellies.”

Looking somewhat abashed, Benjamin turned back to the door, squared his shoulders, and said, “We’re looking forward to sharing Thanksgiving Day dinner with you, Henry. We’re pleased you can make it.”

Brighton came over to stand beside Benjamin, put an arm around his waist, and leaned over to kiss him on the cheek.

“I for one don’t need a special day to give thanks for all I have,” said Thea quietly. Everyone at the table agreed wholeheartedly.

“Is dinner ready yet?” asked Itsy, and everyone laughed with full hearts.

The Case of the Loose Cannon

Summer was winding down. Autumn peered out from deep within the woods, getting ready to sneak up and pounce on everyone. Birnie and Biwi had just returned from an overseas bombing raid and now busied themselves cleaning and tuning up the Bear Cat biplane. Brighton and Benjamin sat and held paws and stared deep into each other’s eyes. Shoshonna had set about teaching some dance steps to an embrace of enthusiastically twisting, gyrating Teds. Letta leaned in close to her hand mirror and tried out different eye shadows. Kippy and Mr. Fluffy sat quietly, sipping honeyed strawberry tea and earnestly discussing important stuff together. Sherman and several other Teds listened to a Cubs game on the radio, alternately cheering and looking despondent. Mack kept close eye on everyone and busied himself entering gold stars and black marks into his little black book.

Itsy sat on a blanket with Lily-pop, Sparkie, and Waldo, where she was telling the other three a story. Perhaps it would be more accurate to say she was telling them “the” story, or “her” story, since she only ever told them the exact same story over and over again, much to Benjamin’s continuing dismay. The three little ones never seemed to tire of it, however. Indeed, they appeared to find comfort in the repetition of the same words and rambling story with Itsy’s every retelling.

“Once upon a time,” she began, as she always began, “there was a beeeUUteeful princess, queen, king, empress, abentcherer, nurtz named ITSY!”

“Oooh,” groaned Benjamin, covering his ears with his paws, “not again!”

Brighton put her arms around him and cooed, “Don’t let it bother you, Cuddles. She’s just a little baby. She doesn’t know any better.”

“But she repeats it over and over and over again!” Benjamin complained plaintively. “I feel like my head’s about to explode!”

“Come here, Cuddle-wuddles,” Brighton soothed. “Let your Sweetpie make it all better.”

“Ahhh,” Benjamin sighed. “What would I do without you? I’d be lost and all alone and probably driven half out of my mind by her and her one story that’s always the same and her cannon that she always has to fire off right in my ear and her general obnoxiousness that goes on and on and never, ever lets up!”

“Shhh, shhh, my Lover-dover. Let’s just snuggle up and forget all our troubles,” Brighton urged solicitously.

“You’re right, Dear Heart. It’s just you and me,” Benjamin agreed, snuggling up to his sweetheart, “against the world.”

Eventually, Itsy’s story drew to its inevitable conclusion. “An’ that’s how Itsy the beeeUUteeful princess, queen, king, empress, abentcherer, nurtz saved the world! Then ev’rybody lived happily ever after. The end!”

To emphasize the wonderfulness of the finale of her story, Itsy reached over to fire off her cannon. But all her paws grasped was air. When she looked to where her cannon was supposed to be, it wasn’t there! Looking first to the other side of her and then behind her and then behind the other little ones, she still could not find her cannon anywhere.

“Where’s my cannon?” she wondered aloud.

“Yeth, where’s Itsy’s cannon?” Lily-pop asked, looking a little fearful.

“I don’t know!” Sparkie and Waldo answered at the same time.

“Hey, somebody stealed my cannon!” Itsy cried.

“Or maybe you loosed it,” Sparkie offered.

“How could I loose it?” Itsy wanted to know. “I always take it with me ev’rywhere I go.”

“Yeth, we take it with uth ev’rywhere,” Lily-pop confirmed.

“Well, who could steal it?” Waldo asked.

“An’ why would they steal it?” Sparkie inquired.

“I don’t know,” Itsy said. “But I’m going to find out.”

“How?” Sparkie asked.

“I’m gonna be a deteckive an’ find out who stealed it,” she told the three of them.

“How can you do that?” asked Waldo.

“I’m gonna be dus’ like Miss Marble on the telebision an’ look for clues an’ axe peoples lots of questions,” Itsy answered, “until I find out who took it an’ where they put it. Then I’ll get it back, an’ we’ll arrest the bad guy an’ lock him in jail an’ prob’ly electrifry him.”

“Oooo, cool,” said Sparkie admiringly. “I’ll help!”

“I’ll help, too,” volunteered Waldo.

“Me, too,” said Lily-pop quietly, at the same time taking a tight hold on Itsy’s left paw.

“Okay, then,” Itsy said. “I’m the boss deteckive, an’ you can all be my helpers.”

“Okay, what do we do first?” asked Sparkie.

“The first thing deteckives do is go over the seam of the crime an’ look for clues,” Itsy informed them authoritatively.

“Oh,” said Sparkie.

“What’s the seam of the crime?” Waldo asked.

“Right here,” Itsy told him, “where the cannon was before it got stealed. So this is where we gotta start looking for clues.”

“Like what?” asked Sparkie.

“Like paw prints or tire tracks or maybe somefing the thief forgot or dropped like a knife or a machine gun or a pitcher with his face on it,” Itsy explained.

“Can we keep the machine gun if we find it?” Sparkie wanted to know.

“Yetz,” Itsy said. “’Cause we’re deteckives, and we get to have whatever a thief leaves behind.”

“Okay, then let’s start looking!” Waldo exclaimed, lifting up a corner of the blanket and looking under it. “Nothing here,” he said.

“Nuffing here, neither,” Lily-pop said, delicately lifting the corner diagonally across the blanket from Waldo’s corner and peeking under.

“There’s tracks over here!” cried Sparkie.

“Where?” asked Itsy, excitedly, as she ran over to the side of the blanket where Sparkie was standing.

“Right there,” Sparkie said, pointing down at the ground.

Squatting down, Itsy took a closer look at where Sparkie pointed as the other two little ones ran over to get a closer look for themselves as well.

“Them’s tracks all right,” Itsy confirmed. “They ain’t paw tracks neither ‘cause they just make squiggly lines in the grass.”

“What are they tracks of, then?” Waldo wondered.

“Prob’ly tire tracks,” Itsy decided. “Cannon tire tracks.”

“So all we have to do is follow them, and we’ll find out where the cannon went!” Sparkie suggested.

But when they tried following the tire tracks, they found they went to lots of different places: under the blanket, over to the wood’s edge, around and around the beehive, over to the deck, out to the front of the house – all places Itsy had dragged her cannon earlier in the day.

They gathered back at the blanket and tried to do some more thinking about how to find the missing cannon.

“Let have a line-up,” Sparkie suggested.

“Yeah,” enthused Waldo. “We could line ev’rybody up and look at them to see who did it.”

But when they went to ask Birnie and Biwi for their help rounding up a line-up, Birnie pointed out that they hadn’t been able to find a witness to the crime yet. “And you need a witness to tell you which one in the line-up did it,” he concluded.

“Oh,” said Waldo.

“Oh,” echoed Lily-pop.

“Now what are we gonna do?” Sparkie asked despondently.

“Let’s go question somebody,” Itsy said decisively. “That’s what you do when you’re a deteckive.”

“Yeth, let’th question somebody,” Lily-pop agreed, and everybody cheered up at the idea.

“Who should we question?” Waldo wanted to know.

Looking around them, Itsy thought a minute, then decided, “Shoshonna. She’s the closest.”

So they walked over to Shoshonna and the embrace of Teds she was teaching to dance. Never one to beat around the bush, Itsy got right to the point. “Hi, Shoshonna. I’m being a deteckive and these guys are my helpers. I gotta axe you some questions, okay?”

Shoshonna stopped dancing in mid-step and nodded her head, “Okay,” she said. “What do you want to know about, Sweetie?”

“I ain’t Sweetie,” Itsy reminded her. “I’m Itsy. An’ I wanta axe you where were you when my cannon distappeared?”

“Have you lost your cannon?” Shoshonna asked, gazing over at the blanket where the little ones had been sitting while Itsy was telling her story.

“It didn’t get loosed,” Itsy informed her firmly. “Somebody stealed it. An’ we’re gonna find out who did it, so we could get it back.”

“An’ arreth’ the bad guy,” piped up Lily-pop.

“An’ lock him up in jail,” Waldo added.

“An’ prob’ly electrify him,” Sparkie concluded.

“My goodness,” exclaimed Shoshonna. “That’s a little extreme for such a minor crime, don’t you think?”

“What’s a minor crime?” asked Waldo.

“A little crime,” Shoshonna explained.

“It ain’t little,” Itsy said, adamantly. “It’s a big cannon.”

“Oh, I see,” said Shoshonna.

“So where were you when it distappeared?” Itsy asked her again.

“That’s hard for me to say,” Shoshonna replied, “since I didn’t even realize it had disappeared until you told me.”

“Oh,” said Itsy, looking a little disappointed and uncertain of what to do next.

“But it might be helpful,” Shoshonna offered, “if you asked me when the last time was that I did see it.”

“Yetz!” exclaimed Itsy, noticeably heartened by the suggestion. “That’s a good question, Shoshonna! Fank you.”

“You’re welcome,” Shoshonna replied.

“So when did you see my cannon the last time?” Itsy asked.

“Well, let’s see. I remember you pulling it over to the blanket,” Shoshonna answered. “Then I think I remember you pulling it onto the blanket. That’s when we started dancing, and I don’t remember noticing you guys or the cannon after that.”

“Did you see anybody sneaking around over there by the cannon?” Itsy asked.

Shoshonna thought a moment, then answered, “No, not that I can remember. But you should ask my dance class. Maybe one of them saw something and could give you a lead.”

“Yeah, maybe they could give us a clue, too,” Itsy agreed. Turning to the class, she asked, “Did any of you guys see anybody sneaking around over by us while I was telling my story?”

But none of them could recall seeing anything more than what Shoshonna had seen. So Itsy and her three helpers went over to question Kippy and Mr. Fluffy about what they knew about the crime.

Meanwhile, Biwi had come over to the deck to look over Mack’s shoulder as he apportioned his gold stars and black marks in his little black book. Benjamin and Brighton had gotten quite comfortable by this time. Benjamin had his head in Brighton’s lap, his eyes closed, and a quite self-satisfied smile played across his lips.

“Whoa!” Biwi exclaimed. “That’s a lot of black marks, Mack! I don’t remember you ever giving out so many to one Ted before.”

Mack made no comment, but Benjamin’s smile faltered somewhat.

“What have you been doing to deserve all those black marks, Benjamin?” Biwi asked him.

“Me!?!” asked Benjamin, sitting up suddenly with a look of surprised chagrin on his face. “Black marks!?!”

“What did he do?” Biwi asked Mack.

But all Mack would say in his deep, rumbling growly voice was, “He knows.”

“What? Me? I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Benjamin blustered.

“You know all right,” Mack said quietly, still patiently filling in Benjamin’s black marks.

“No, I don’t,” Benjamin insisted. “I don’t have a clue what you’re talking about. And neither do you!” He was wide awake by now.

“You know better than that,” Biwi told him. “Mack sees all and knows all.”

That seemed to shake Benjamin up a bit, but then he straightened his shoulders and again insisted, “That’s silly. He does not. He didn’t even notice when I, uh, when, when I was in the bedroom doing something and he was out here. Nobody could see all and know all.”

“At least one person does,” Biwi asserted. “And that’s what I’d be worried about if I were you.”

“What do you mean?” Benjamin asked, a note of hysteria rising in his voice. “Nobody could do that. They’d have to have eyes in the back of their…. Oh.”

“Yeah,” said Biwi. “Oh. Mommola has eyes in the back of her head. She sees everything and knows everything. You can’t hide anything from her.”

“Oh,” Benjamin repeated, numbly. “Yeah. Mommola.”

“Yeah, Mommola,” Biwi agreed. “You might want to consider what she’s going to think about what you did. Whatever it was.”

“Ulp,” gulped Benjamin miserably, while Brighton tried her best to comfort him.

Just then Itsy and her three detective helpers approached to ask questions about the disappearance of the cannon.

“You might want to start with Benjamin,” Biwi sardonically suggested to her.

“Okay,” she said and marched right over to where he sat huddled in Brighton’s protective arms. By now she had refined her interrogation technique and so began by asking him, “Where was the last place you saw my cannon?”

“Your cannon?” Benjamin asked with his best look of innocence.

Mack looked up from his book and over at Benjamin. Benjamin gulped once more and said, “Oh, yes, your lovely cannon. Hmm, let me think. Where did I last see it? Um, well, I think it might have been in the bedroom.”

“In the bedroom?” Itsy asked, surprised by this unexpected response.

Mack continued to stare at Benjamin.

“Erm, yes, I do believe that’s where I last saw it,” Benjamin confirmed. “In the bedroom.”

“Where in the bedroom?” Biwi asked.

“Oh, uh, where? In the bedroom? Umm, let me think,” and Benjamin stared off into space a moment.

“I’m sure your memory is good enough to recall where you last saw such a big thing as Itsy’s cannon,” Biwi observed dryly.

“Oh, yes, of course, now I remember,” Benjamin suddenly exclaimed. “It was in the bedroom, like I said. Um, under the bed, if I remember right.”

“Under the bed?” Itsy asked.

“Er, yes, I believe…” Mack and Biwi both stared hard at him. “Um, that is, yes, I’m certain. That’s where I saw it last. Under the bed. In the bedroom. Yes, that’s where it was. I’m certain.”

“Com’on!” Itsy cried to her helpers, and they raced off into the house and on into the bedroom, only to reemerge moments later, dragging her cannon triumphantly after them.

“I knowed we could find it,” Itsy avowed.

“Yeah, ‘cause we’re deteckives!” Sparkie said excitedly.

“The best deteckives ever!” exclaimed Itsy.

“That you are,” Biwi agreed, glowering over at Benjamin, who chimed in, “Oh, of course, you’re the best. Um, the best detectives ever.”

“Fank you for ‘membering where you saw it, Benjamin,” she said to him.

“Um, oh, well, it was nothing,” he stated. “Really. Nothing at all.”

“All’s well that ends well, I guess,” Biwi observed wrly.

“Yetz,” said Itsy.

“’Cept we didn’t get to ‘rest nobody,” Sparkie complained.

“Or ‘lectrifry ‘em neither,” Waldo added.

“Well, at least you got Itsy’s cannon back,” said Letta. “That’s what counts, isn’t it?”

“Yeth, that’th what countth,” Lily-pop agreed.

“Yeah, prob’ly,” said Waldo.

“I guess,” said Sparkie.

“Ka-WHOOMPF!” went Itsy’s cannon.

“Oh, my ears!” exclaimed Benjamin, holding his paws to said ears.

A few short minutes later, the four little ones were seated in a circle back on their blanket, with Itsy’s cannon parked in the middle of them.

“Tell uth a thtory, Itsy!” Lily-pop requested.

“Yeah, tell us a story,” Waldo begged.

“Okay,” Itsy agreed. “Once upon a time,” she began, as she always began, “there was a beeeUUteeful princess, queen, king, empress, abentcherer, nurtz, deteckive named ITSY!”

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” groused Benjamin.

“Look on the bright side,” Biwi smiled. “At least she finally changed her story. Somewhat.”

“Ha ha,” grumbled Benjamin as Brighton drew him back into the comfort of her arms.

What's Love Got to Do With It?

Itsy came barreling out onto the deck from inside, her bonnet askew, and the ends of her ribbon flying up over one shoulder. Running over to Lily-pop, Waldo, and Sparkie, she warned them excitedly, “Don’t go in the bedroom! Benjamin and Brighton are in there rubbing snouts again!”

“Eeewwwww!!!” all four of them said at once.

Everyone within hearing smiled indulgently. In the midst of brushing her fur, Letta looked over at them and said, “There’s nothing wrong with rubbing snouts. It can be quite fun with the right Ted.”

To which, the little ones grimaced and responded in unison, “Eeewwwww!!!”

Letta just smiled and kept brushing her fur. “Oh, I’m sure that someday you’ll all meet a special someone. And then you’ll find out just how nice rubbing snouts can be.”

“Not me!” Itsy declared.

“Not me!” squeaked Lily-pop.

“Not me neither,” said Sparkie.

“Me neither,” Waldo chimed in.

“Ah, but you’ve never been in love,” Letta told them.

“Have too!” Itsy insisted. “I love Mommola and Dad! And I love Lily-pop, too!”

“Me, too!” Lily-pop chimed in. “I love Itsy, too!”

“I love Mommola and Dad, too!” said Sparkie.

“Me, too,” said Waldo.

“We don’t rub snouts, neither,” Itsy pointed out.

“No, of course you don’t,” said Sassafras, joining the conversation. “But you do like to snuggle with Mommola and Dad and Lily-pop, don’t you?”

“Yeah,” Itsy reluctantly agreed.

“And you like to hug and kiss them sometimes, too, right?” Sassafras added.

“Yetz, that feels good,” Itsy agreed.

“Sure it does,” Sassafras said. “And how does it make you feel when someone like that who you look up to and think the world of cuddles with you, hugs you up close, and showers you with kisses all over you face and head?”

“It makes you feel comfy and cozy,” Itsy responded. “That’s what Mommola and I say. We say, ‘Don’t you feel comfy and cozy?’ And then we say, ‘Yetz!’”

“Why do you think you care if Mommola is comfy and cozy?” Sassafras asked Itsy.

“’Cause I like her to feel good,” Itsy answered.

“Because you love her?” Sassafras asked.

“Yetz,” Itsy said.

“How would you feel if she said she didn’t feel comfy and cozy,” Sassafras wanted to know.

“I would be sad,” Itsy replied.

“Because you love her, right?” asked Sassafras.

“Yetz. And ‘cause we’re bestest pals, and she makes me feel good, and so I want to make her feel good, too!” Itsy explained.

“Yes, and that’s part of what it means to love someone,” Sassafras told her.

“It is?” asked Itsy, looking somewhat puzzled.

“Yes,” replied Sassafras, as she reached over and straightened out Itsy’s bonnet. “Caring for each other is an important part of love.”

“We don’t rub snouts, though!” Itsy pointed out, resettling her bonnet more to her own tastes.

“Eeewwwww!!!” said the other three little ones, scrunching up their snouts in disgust.

“I should hope not,” Sassafras replied calmly, as Letta smirked off to one side. “That’s something only grown-ups should do with each other. Children should never do that.”

“Good,” said Itsy, looking pleased with herself, “‘cause it’s eewey.”

“Yes, I gathered that,” Sassafras noted drily.

“So love is when you want somebody to feel comfy and cozy?” Itsy asked.

“Well, as I said, caring for each other is an important part of it. But there’s more to it than that.”

“There is?” asked Itsy, scratching behind one of her ears.

“Oh, yes,” Sassafras assured her. “Much more. You love Lily-pop, don’t you?”

“Yetz!” Itsy immediately agreed, smiling at her little sister.

“And you love Itsy, don’t you, Lily-pop?” Sassafras asked her.

“Yeth,” Lily-pop answered shyly, as she put her arm around Itsy and leaned up against her.

“Why do you love Itsy?” Sassafras asked the little polar bear.

“‘Cause thhee’s my big thithter, an’ thhee taketh care of me,” Lily-pop replied quietly but clearly. Itsy put an arm around her and kissed her on the top of her head, which was something she saw her Dad do to her Mommola lots of times.

“So you trust Itsy, then?” Sassafras asked her. “You feel like she doesn’t ever want to do anything to hurt you?”

“Yeth,” Lily-pop answered, snuggling up closer to her older sister. “Thhee won’t let nobody else hurt me neither.”

“I’m big an’ strong,” Itsy asserted. “So I perteck Lily-pop and Waldo and Sparkie.”

“That’s a very loving thing to do,” Sassafras told her. “You worry about your little sister and brothers before you worry about yourself. You think of them before you think of yourself.”

“Sure, I guess,” agreed Itsy, shrugging. “They need me. Plus, it makes me feel good.”

“Yes, that’s the thing about love,” Sassafras observed. “Making people you love feel good makes you feel good.”

“Uh-huh, I like to make people feel good,” said Itsy.

“Me, too!” said the other three little ones.

“Yes, that’s one thing that Teddy bears are very good at,” Sassafras said. “But there’s more to love than just comforting and protecting others.”

“More?” Itsy asked, scratching behind her other ear.

“Of course. Love is too important to be very simple,” Sassafras told her.

“Oh,” said Itsy, looking perplexed.

“Tell me,” Sassafras requested, “when you do something really well, something you’re really proud of, don’t you like to tell Mommola and Dad and Lily-pop and everyone else you love all about it?”

“Yetz, ‘cause I like them to know how good I am,” Itsy replied.

“And you like it when they tell you about things they did that they’re proud of, too, don’t you?”

“Sure, it makes me feel all warm and happy inside when they tell me how good they feel about it,” Itsy said.

“And don’t you like to go to them when you aren’t feeling so good? So maybe they’ll understand how badly you feel, or even hold you and make you feel better about things?” Sassafras asked.

“Yetz,” Itsy said quietly. “‘Cause you don’t like to feel so bad, and they know it and make you feel better no matter what.”

“Exactly,” Sassafras agreed. “You look up to Mommola and Dad and trust them to love you no matter what you do. You know that they always have your best interests at heart, and they always give you good advice.”

“Yetz, they always know what to do when you don’t feel good or if you’re scared of something,” Itsy said.

“So doeth Itsy,” Lilly-pop piped up. “Thhee maketh you feel good, too! Even when you’re thscared.”

“I’m so glad for both of you,” Sassafras told them.

“You are?” Itsy asked.

“Yes, because when you have someone to look up to whom you trust, it’s easy for you to share how you feel with them. And the more you share with them, the more they get to know who you are, and the more they get to love you for who you are.”

“Ohh,” said Itsy, trying hard to think about what Sassafras had just said. “So if you share how you feel more, people love you more?”

“Oh, yes,” confirmed Sassafras. “Because the more they learn about you, the more they see how lovable and adorable you are. Plus, they feel honored that you trust them enough to tell them how you feel.”

“Okay, but we still don’t rub snouts!” Itsy declared again.

“Eeewwwww!!!” chimed in her Greek chorus of little ones, right on cue. Itsy smirked smugly.

“Well, no,” agreed Sassafras. “As I said, that’s for when you get bigger and you meet someone more your own age and you fall in love. That’s different.”

“Why’s that differ’nt?” Itsy wanted to know.

“Because right now the people you love are either older than you or younger than you,” Sassafras explained.

“So?”

“Well, whoever’s older knows more about things than whoever’s younger, and they go through different kinds of experiences that the younger one can’t always understand,” Sassafras said. “There are some things you can’t explain to Lily-pop even if you want to, aren’t there, just because she wouldn’t understand?”

“I guess,” Itsy acknowledged, looking at Lily-pop and smiling reassuringly.

“Well, it’s the same for Mommola and Dad with you,” Sassafras told her. “There are lots of things they know that you won’t understand until you get as old as they are.”

“I won’t never be that old!” Itsy exclaimed.

Sassafras smiled. “Maybe,” she said, “but you’re growing up every day. And when you get old enough you might find someone you care for who’s around your own age.”

“Maybe,” Itsy reluctantly conceded.

“That’s when you discover that when you grow up, love grows up, too. It changes and opens up, taking on a whole new life, like a bud that blossoms into a big, beautiful flower,” Sassafras explained.

“Like a flower?” Itsy asked, looking very puzzled again.

“Yes, your feelings bloom just like a flower, and you feel like a whole new person,” Sassafras told her. “Because now you’re seeing life through two sets of eyes instead of just one.”

“Oh,” said Itsy, beginning to look distracted. “Do you have to rub snouts to do that?”

“Eeewwwww!!!” the little ones dutifully cried out.

“No, you don’t have to,” Sassafras conceded. “But you will very likely want to.”

Just then Brighton and Benjamin stepped out onto the deck, holding paws and looking pleased with themselves.

This immediately led to a chorus of “Eeewwwww!!!” from all four of the little Teds on the deck.

“Cooties!” exclaimed Itsy, as she turned and ran from the deck, with all three of the other little ones right at her heels.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake!” Benjamin said, more confused than irritated. He looked from Brighton to Sassafras to Letta, all of whom only shrugged and smiled.

As the little ones ran out into the yard, Waldo could be heard asking Sparkie, “Did you get what Sassafras was talking about?”

“Love, I think,” Sparkie replied.

“Yeah, but what’s that got to do with, you know, rubbing snouts?” Waldo asked.

“When you get old, you lose your marbles and start wanting to do that, I think,” Sparkie guessed.

“Eeewwwww!!!” Waldo exclaimed. “I ain’t never getting old then.”

“Me, neither,” Sparkie agreed.

“We’ll see about that,” Letta commented to Sassafras, Brighton, and Benjamin, as she continued to contentedly brush her fur, making it shine.

The Spice of Life

Thea and I awakened to the sounds of hammering and sawing, shouts, laughter, and giggles, and the general bustle of Teds out in the backyard preparing for their annual Variety Show and Fun Raiser. Looking out the bedroom window facing the back, we witnessed the spectacle of scores of Teds scurrying back-and-forth, hither and yon, erecting the stage and getting ready for the arrival of the hundreds of Teds expected for this afternoon's event. Directing it all were Benjamin, Brighton, Mack, Letta, Shoshonna, Birnie, and Biwi, each getting in the others’ way more often than not, although still managing to make slow but steady progress.

As we prepared breakfast, the youngest Teds – Itsy, Lily-pop, Sparkie, and Waldo – tagged along behind us, chattering away excitedly about the day's coming events. This would be Lily-pop's second Variety Show and Waldo's first. Itsy was particularly fired up and could hardly contain herself because this was the first Show she was to take part in.

“You're coming to the Show, right?” Itsy inquired earnestly, looking up at her Mommola and me.

“Of course we are, sweetheart,” Thea assured her.

“Good,” Itsy replied, “‘cause I'm gonna be a star in it.”

“I can hardly wait,” I deadpanned.

“Me, too,” she said, then wandered off to get her cannon.

The Teds began showing up a little after noon. They started off in dribs and drabs in groups of two to five each, which slowly grew into a steady stream of tittering, chattering, giggling, squealing, wriggling, squirming hordes of Teddy Bears. Overall, they remained remarkably well-behaved, setting out little picnic blankets to sit on in front of the stage, walking about hugging each other in greetings, and having a grand ol' time together.

Benjamin had set up a concession off to one side, festively decorated with red crepe draped around the top and with balloons floating from all four corners. There he sold slices of watermelon for a penny and, for those Teds with a note from their Mom or Dad that they were allowed to drink it, miniature foaming mugs of Mason's root beer for a nickel. He also reluctantly dispensed, at Thea's insistence, free bags of popcorn and mugs of lemonade or fruit juice. Business seemed to be brisk as a mob of Teds crowded around the stand calling out their requests. Faith, Sweetie, and Chuffy were helping to serve the many customers.

As the time for the start of the Show drew near, Thea and I moved our chairs out toward the rear of the gathered throng, and Teds began making their way back to settle onto their blankets and await the opening of the curtains. Sherman, wearing his red-C-on-blue Cubs cap as always, had climbed out on a low-lying branch that hung just over the front of the stage. He had a flashlight with him. He was going to be using it as a spotlight during the show.

Mack stood to one side of the stage, studying his stopwatch, one paw raised above his head. At exactly the second the Show was scheduled to begin, he looked up at the stage and slashed his paw down. From behind the stage we heard the “Ka-WHOOMPF” of Itsy's cannon, and the curtains began to rise to the laughing, clapping, and cheering of everyone in attendance.

As the curtains rose, we could see and hear a chorus line composed of Letta, Shonnona, Sassafras, and Bunkie dancing arm-in-arm, kicking up their heels in unison and singing Biwi's famous morning rising song, “Wake up and live! Ta da da da duh! Wake up and live! Ta da da da duh! Wake up and live! Wake up and live! Wake up and LIIIIVVVEEE!” The yard went wild as everyone cheered and clapped and laughed. The Show had begun.

The ladies bowed and skipped off stage as Brighton walked on, her bright white fur all fluffed and combed, and her white lace ribbon tied in a neat bow. This was the first year that she rather than Benjamin was to be the MC for the Variety Show. Smiling broadly, she waited patiently for the cheers and clapping to quiet down. Once the yard was quiet enough for her to be heard, she told them, “We're very glad to see such a good turnout for this year's Variety Show and Fun Raiser. Whatever we make today on the concessions will go straight to Teddy Bear College. So thank you for your support. We’ve got a great show for you this afternoon, and I don't want to keep you from it a minute longer. So, here, for your listening pleasure, are Biwi and Birnie playing another of their piano compositions for eight paws, titled ‘To the End of the Rainbow.’”

With that introduction, Brighton turned and swept her arm to encompass the stage behind her, where Biwi and Birnie were entering from opposite sides of the stage, each pushing his own toy baby grand piano in front of him. They rolled their pianos to center stage, until their backs touched. Once their pianos were in place, Biwi and Birnie turned in unison to face the audience and take deep bows. Their ribbons were new and sparkled in the spotlight that Sherman shined down on them from above. The audience clapped enthusiastically, anticipating the coming performance, until the two of them, again in unison, turned back to face their respective keyboards. At that point silence fell upon the whole backyard. Birnie and Biwi stood stock still for a few hushed seconds, then they both suddenly leapt up onto their pianos and began scampering furiously up and down their keyboards, playing their new homage to Itsy, Lily-pop, Sparkie, and Waldo’s recent adventure, ‘To the End of the Rainbow.’

Biwi played the Itsy and Lily-pop parts, while Birnie played Sparkie and Waldo's parts. As the two of them played, we heard the whole adventure once again, from the very beginning of their intrepid search to their discovery of the berry bushes to the owl, the snake, and Sydney the crow and back to the bushes again. Then the tempo changed as Birnie, Biwi, Shoshonna, and Benjamin showed up. As Birnie played a growly part for Benjamin, the crowd laughed good-heartedly. At the conclusion of their performance, the twin pandas got a standing ovation from the audience, which became all that much louder as the four little explorers themselves came out onto the stage and took bows.

Mack, as stage manager, had a difficult time coaxing Itsy, waving and bowing furiously, back off the stage once she got on it. But eventually Brighton came out to introduce the next act: Benjamin and Mr. Fluffy, the Dueling Magicians.

Benjamin started it off by stepping over and pulling a nickel out from behind Mr. Fluffy's ear. Mr. Fluffy returned the favor by reaching over and pulling out one long scarf after another out from under Benjamin's neck ribbon. Benjamin responded by taking a top hat and pulling Itsy's cannon out of it. Everyone oooed and aaahed and applauded as Benjamin grinned and bowed low.  

Meanwhile Mr. Fluffy took the top hat from Benjamin, set it on the ground behind him, turned to face it with his back to the audience, bent over to reach into the now hidden hat, and seemed to pull something out and out and out from it. Then, standing back up straight, he turned to one side to reveal Itsy standing beside the hat. The audience went wild.

Itsy fired her cannon, “KaWHOOMPF!” At which point, Mr. Fluffy made her cannon disappear. As Itsy looked around in bewilderment, Benjamin made her disappear! The audience cheered and whistled and stamped their back paws with glee! Both Teddy magicians turned to face their audience in unison and took deep bows. After taking a second bow, they turned to face each other, drew out their magic wands and waved them at each other, at which point both of them disappeared. The house went wild!

It took Brighton a while to calm everyone down, but once they had finally settled back onto their blankets and become more or less quiet again, the Teddy John Philip Sousa Appreciation Band came on stage, to more enthusiastic applause. As the Band began their first piece, the ‘Mother Hubbard March,’ Shoshonna came on stage and began tap-dancing to the music. Her performance was electric, and the whole back yard watched in rapt attention.

After the first piece ended to thunderous applause, Brighton came out to announce a short intermission. The audience got up to stretch their legs and make more visits to the concession stand. During the intermission, the Band played several more pieces – ‘The Thunderer,’ ‘Universal Peace,’ and ‘Hail to the Spirit of Liberty,’ with Shoshonna tap-dancing to each. Meanwhile, Sherman climbed down from the tree and handed the flashlight/search light to Mickey, the little black bear with a cocoa brown snout. Mickey then climbed up onto the tree limb and began shining the search light on Shoshonna as she danced.

After the intermission finished with a rousing rendition of ‘The Stars and Stripes Forever,’ Brighton announced that Biwi would now show digital movies of Silly Human-Bean Moments, always a favorite among the Teds. As the stage lights went down and the movie began, it became clear that my silly moments were to be highlighted. There I was spilling glasses of soda or water or cups of tea one after another after another, with the actual spill captured in loving slow motion, each followed by extreme close-ups of my face as I reacted to my own idiocy. After what seemed an endless chain of me spilling things, there began another chain of my tripping over things: rugs, furniture, my own two feet. These were interwoven with me bumping into things, bashing my shin, whacking my head, scraping my arms. Many of these were treated to instant replay; sometimes they were played backwards, which somehow managed to emphasize the clumsiness of the moment. The Ted audience was delighted; they howled at my gaffs, roared at my goofy reactions, and generally rolled on the ground laughing at the hilarity of human nature.  

I, meanwhile, did my best to maintain my dignity. Thea tried to help by placing her hand encouragingly on my forearm, but her frequent involuntary snickers did nothing to soothe my injured pride.

After an agonizing 30 minutes of guffaws at my expense, that part of the Show finally drew to a close. Kippy came out then and recited a couple of his shorter poems. One was a haiku:

Hazy skies, not one cloud.
Heaven's eye beams brightly down.
Winging flocks soar high.

Next, Faith, Sweetie, Chuffy, Sparkie, and Waldo, calling themselves The Bed Bears, came on stage and sang ‘Won't You Be My Teddy Bear?’

This was followed by Biwi doing imitations of famous Teds, along with a few infamous Human Beans.

For the final act of the evening, everyone who had been in the Show today, and everyone who had worked backstage, came out on stage for the final act. Brighton and Benjamin stepped forward, paw-in-paw, and Brighton asked everyone to join them in singing Benjamin's famous song dedicated to the Chicago Cubs. The whole audience stood, and with that they all began singing, “Go Cubs, go Cubs, go Cubs go! Go Cubs, go Cubs, go Cubs go! Go Cubs, go Cubs, go Cubs goooOOOOO! Go Cubs, go Cubs, go Cubs go!” On the final extended note, everyone on stage took a deep bow, Itsy fired her cannon – KaWHOOMF – and amid the cheers and whistles of the audience the curtain came down on this year's Variety Show and Fun Raiser.

Not long afterwards Itsy, Lily-pop, Sparkie, and Waldo came running up to Thea and me. “Did you see us in the Show?” Itsy wanted to know.

“We did indeed,” I assured them.

“You were wonderful,” Thea told them.

“Marvelous,” I agreed.

“I know,” said Itsy. “We’re stars.”

“We're stars,” announced Lily-pop in wonder.

“Yeah, we're stars,” said Waldo and Sparkie.

“You certainly are,” Thea said, reaching down and picking all of them up, and giving them a great big hug. “And you're my little angels, too.”

“Let's not go too far,” I cautioned.

Just then Benjamin and Brighton walked up, paw-in-paw. “So how did you like it?” Benjamin wanted to know.

“It was marvliss,” Itsy informed them as Thea straightened her bonnet.

“The best Show yet,” I quickly assured them.

“You both did outstanding jobs,” Thea said. “You were an excellent MC, Brighton. And you were a terrific magician, Benjamin.”

“Thank you!” said Brighton.

“Gee, thanks,” said Benjamin.

They both managed to look pleased and bashful at the same time.

“The whole production was done very professionally,” I told them. “It was also quite tasty,” I added.

“What do you mean, tasty?” Benjamin asked suspiciously.

“Well, variety is the spice of life, and spice makes things tasty,” I noted, innocently.

“Ooohhh!” everyone groaned.

“That was worse than usual,” Thea complained. To which I could only shrug and grin sheepishly.

“Oh, well,” she said. “At least that reminds me that it's dinner time. Time for the pizza!”

“Yay!” cheered all of the Teds within hearing. “Pizza!” To which announcement, the rest of the Teds in the yard responded with an equally enthusiastic cheer.

“Ahh,” I sighed as I observed Biwi and Birnie rolling out a can* of Mason’s root beer. “The way to a Ted's heart is truly through his or her stomach.”

“Don't be so cynical,” Thea admonished me as we went in to get the pizzas. “You know very well that they have much bigger hearts than stomachs.”

Lily-pop was reaching out to me, wanting me to hold her. As I took her and Itsy from Thea, I glanced at the soles of Lily-pop's back paws and saw the great big red hearts that were placed on each. “I know no such thing,” I answered, holding Itsy and Lily-pop up where I could snuggle and kiss and tickle them. “Although,” I allowed, as the two of them squirmed and giggled under my barrage of kisses, “I'm willing to concede the point on faith alone.”

“I'm hungry,” said Waldo.

“Me, too,” said Sparkie.

“Me, too,” said Lily-pop and Itsy in between their peals of laughter and squeals of joy.

“And I do mean on faith alone,” I said, getting the final word for once.

*Unfortunately, cans of Mason's are available only to Teddy Bears.  Birnie and Biwi have set up a secret cannery in the hills of east Kentucky.

Rainbow's End

What a day it was! A morning rain had provided Mack and Paddington with another opportunity to amble about together in the mist. Then the rising sun had brought forth a beautiful, bright and shiny rainbow, which arched up over the backyard and seemed to plant one end firmly down into the middle of the woods.

A riotously boisterous game of croquet ricocheted back-and-forth across the full expanse of the yard. The Teds had their own version of the game. Instead of playing in turns one after another, as many as possible whacked their wooden balls at each other’s balls and through the hoops all at the same time. Clambering clacks and whacks, shouts and laughter filled the air like sparkling pieces of sound confetti. Mack did his best to keep score while tabulating columns and columns of black marks for misbehavior, with a rare gold star awarded to a Ted who showed a modicum of civility.

Over at the edge of the woods, Itsy had gathered together her littlest brothers, Sparkie, and Waldo, and sister Lily-pop in order to train them to be “a army.” After a few minutes of marching them back-and-forth, she called a temporary halt to the training in order to gobble down root beer Popsicles that Letta and Shoshonna were handing out to everyone. As the two older Teds moved on, Letta turned around and asked, “Did you see our rainbow?”

Looking up at the shimmering, colorful arc for a few seconds, Itsy’s eyes followed the end of it as it lowered down into the middle of the woods. After gazing that way a moment, she suddenly let go of the string she used to lug her toy cannon around with her and turned to her army.

“Wanta go on a abenture?” she asked them.

“Sure!” said Lily-pop as she slurped contentedly at her Popsicle.

“Where to?” asked Sparkie.

“What’s a abenture?” queried Waldo.

“A abenture’s where you go somewhere new and find impordant stuff,” explained Itsy.

“Oh,” said Waldo, wide-eyed with wonder.

“But where should we go?” asked Sparkie again.

“To the end a that rainbow,” said Itsy, pointing up at the rainbow and then tracing its descent into the woods.

“What’s there?” Sparkie wanted to know.

“A great big pot a honey,” Itsy informed them. “That’s what’s at the end a rainbows. Biwi said.”

“Do we have to go into the woods to get it?” Waldo wanted to know. He didn’t look all that enthusiastic about the idea. “It’s dark in there.”

“Course we do!” Itsy asserted. “But don’t be scared. The woods isn’t that dark inside. It dus’ looks that way out here.”

“Really?” Waldo asked.

“Yetz,” Itsy assured him. “I been in there lots a times. ‘Sides, the rainbow will make it light when we follow it.”

Still, the three little ones continued to stare into the woods, mouths agape, eyes wide and uncertain.

“Come on,” Itsy encouraged them, “finish your Popsicles, so we can go get the pot a honey and be back for lunch.”

Despite her insistence, the three of them took much longer than Itsy did to finish their snacks. But the melting Popsicles would allow them to dawdle only so long. When each Popsicle had been properly devoured and each stick licked clean, Itsy lined the three of them up, took one last look at the rainbow, and headed them resolutely into the woods.

As they scrunched in under some low-lying ferns and through a couple of really big bushes, the whacking and clacking, shouting and laughing of the croquet game started to fade, becoming softer and softer until the only sounds left were those of the woods. The snap and crackle of their progress through the undergrowth was loudest to their ears. But the shushing sounds of squirrels bounding about nearby, the snicking of other squirrels scampering up and down tree trunks, the quieter clicking and whirring of bugs, the chirping of birds, and the occasional rat-a-tat-tat of a woodpecker high above them all combined to give the woods an eerie voice indeed.

The four little Teds clambered across the floor of the woods with nary a word for what seemed like a really long time. The eyes of the three younger ones opened wider and wider and flicked back and forth, up and down, and side-to-side as they tried to adjust to the shady light and see everything there was to see at the same time.

“Where’s the rainbow’s end?” asked Sparkie. “I can’t see it no more.”

“That’s okay,” Itsy assured him. “We’re marching right to it. Don’t worry.”

Just then a nearby bush rustled loudly, and everyone jumped as an owl rose up into the air. Flying up to a branch of a tree near them, it bent its head to one side and stared gravely at them as they passed.

“Hi, owl!” Itsy yelled in greeting.

“Who! Who!” it answered.

“You, silly owl,” returned Itsy. “You!”

It’s only response was to shake its wings, ruffle its feathers, and bend its head to the other side. Its big round eyes followed them as they slowly made their way deeper into the woods.

“He’s a boy owl, Lily-pop,” Itsy informed her little sister. “That’s why he’s so stupit.”

“Stupit boy owl,” Lily-pop agreed.

“Come on,” Itsy encouraged her army. “Ev’rybody hold paws and keep walking. I’ll hold Lily-pop’s. Lily-pop, you hold Waldo’s. And, Waldo, you hold Sparkie’s.”

“Okay,” they all agreed, grabbing each other’s paws. Then they turned and trekked on together farther into the heart of the woods.

Scattered rays of sunlight filtered through the tops of the trees above them as they trudged along, slipping on old leaves, tripping over twigs, hopping over fallen branches, and bending under and around big bushes.

Eventually, Waldo broke the silence, asking plaintively, “Are we there yet?”

“Almos’,” Itsy assured him. “We’ll get to the end a the rainbow any minute now.”

A great big butterfly floated by them, flitting from one shaft of sunlight to another, then disappeared off into the far reaches of the woods.

“I’m hungry,” Waldo complained.

“Me, too,” squeaked Sparkie.

“Me, too,” piped up Lily-pop.

“We can eat some a the honey at the end a the rainbow when we get there,” Itsy reassured them.

“But we’re hungry now,” Sparkie wailed.

Just then they stepped between two huge ferns and came upon a stand of bushes filled to overflowing with bunches of black berries and red berries. Two little sparrows and a wren were hopping from bush to bush, pecking at the berries and devouring them greedily.

“Okay,” Itsy said, walking over to the nearest bush and reaching up to pluck a big, juicy black berry, “we can eat somefing now, if you want.” Handing the berry to Lily-pop, she said, “Ev’rybody can take some of these berries and eat them.” Picking off another black one, she plopped it into her mouth. “Ummm, them’s good!”

“How do you know they aren’t poison?” asked Sparkie, eyeing the bushes suspiciously.

“‘Cause the birds are eatin’ them, and they don’t get sick,” explained Itsy, reaching up for red berry, which she handed to Lily-pop.

“Oh,” said Sparkie, sidling up to a bush and taking a berry for himself. Waldo joined him and began eating the berries, too.

While they were eating, they heard some rustling in the leaves nearby. All of them stopped in the middle of munching on berries and stood very still. Out from under the ferns and on across the floor of the woods slithered a long green snake. No one moved, but the snake paid them no heed, just slithered on along its way until it disappeared off into the underbrush. It took a few minutes before everyone started eating their berries again, eyeing the bushes and the earth around them very, very carefully all the while.

Once they had eaten their fill, Itsy made everyone wipe his or her paws on some leaves. Then they took each other’s paws and started off through the woods again.

After walking a bit more, Waldo suddenly put his paws to his neck and exclaimed, “Hey, I lost my ribbon!”

“Yeah, it’s gone,” Sparkie agreed after making a close inspection of Waldo’s neck. “Where did you lose it?”

“I don’t know,” Waldo replied, close to tears. After considering it for a while, he decided, “Back at the berry bushes, I think. I remember something pulled at it when we ducked under one of the bushes when we left.”

“Don’t worry, Waldo,” Itsy reassured him, bending down to look him in the eyes while rubbing his back sympathetically. “We’ll find it when we go back later.”

“Yeah, we’ll get it back,” said Lily-pop quietly, standing on the other side of him, rubbing his shoulder.

“Yeah, we’ll have to go back that way anyway,” agreed Sparkie, confidently.

“Okay,” said Waldo. Snuffling a little, he wiped his eyes on the back of his paws, then stood up straight and said, “I guess we better get going then. So we can come back pretty soon.”

“Yeah,” agreed Itsy, Lily-pop, and Sparkie. “Let’s get going, then,” said Itsy. “Ev’rybody hold paws! Now sing after me,” and off they marched again, singing resolutely and bravely, “If you go down to the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise….”

A little while later, a crow perched on a branch overhead called after them as they walked along, and Itsy shouted, “Hi, black bird!” To which greeting the crow cocked its head first one way then the other, then flapped its shimmering, blue-black wings and flew off into the higher reaches of the trees.

Somewhere near them, a wood thrush’s sweet, clear voice began to pipe vespers. The light from above shone down softer than it had before.

“Is it getting to be night?” Sparkie asked.

“Not yet,” said Itsy. “We’ll get back before night, don’t worry.”

Just then, as they walked around a great big tree stump that swarmed with ants and other bugs, they came upon another stand of bushes filled to bursting with red berries and black berries.

Lily-pop looked up at her big sister, Itsy, and asked quietly, “Can we eat some more?”

“Sure,” said Itsy.

Suddenly Waldo pointed and cried out, “Look! There’s my ribbon!”

Sure enough, hanging from a lower branch of one of the bushes was Waldo’s bright pink ribbon. He and Sparkie rushed over to it and carefully pulled it down off the branch. Itsy came over and helped wrap it back around his neck, then tied it in a knot as best she could.

Once Waldo has his ribbon back safely on his neck, Sparkie asked, “How come we’re back at these bushes again? I thought we was only going to go by them on the way back!”

“Maybe we have to go by them again before we get to the end a the rainbow,” Itsy suggested.

“Caw! Caw!” came the cry of a crow as it flew in to settle down on the branch of a tree not far from them. Quickly grasping the branch with its claws, it bent its head down directly at the four of them, and called out, “Caw! Caw!” once again.

“Hi, black bird!” Itsy called back.

Suddenly there was a crunching and rustling of leaves and undergrowth behind them, and, with memories of the snake from earlier, everyone froze in place and scanned the bushes and ferns around them, wide-eyed and fearful. Then, out of the bushes emerged a big black-and-white head.

“Birnie!” shouted Itsy. “Hi! Did you come to see the end a the rainbow, too?”

“Hi, Birnie!” shouted Lily-pop and Waldo and Sparkie.

“We’re on a abenture!” Waldo explained, running excitedly over to his big brother as Birnie emerged more fully from the bushes. Right on his heels came Biwi, too, smirking and chuckling.

“I’d say we found the end of the rainbow,” said Biwi, picking Waldo up and twirling him around in the air, making him gasp and laugh at the same time.

“You did?” asked Sparkie. “Where is it?”

“Right here, little one,” Birnie said, picking his little brother up and giving him a hug.

“No it isn’t,” argued Itsy, paws on her waist. “This is dus’ some berry bushes.”

“Hi, Shoshonna!” squealed Lily-pop, as her great big sister stepped out of the bushes behind Birnie and Biwi and bent down to pick up the baby girl of the family.

“Hi, sweetie,” Shoshonna answered, kissing and hugging Lily-pop, making her giggle and squeak with laughter.

Biwi pulled Waldo in and hugged him up against his chest, then turned to Itsy and said, with a great big grin on his face, “Well, these may look like only berry bushes to you, but they look like the end of the rainbow to me.”

With a free paw, Shoshonna reached down and rearranged Itsy’s bonnet, which had fallen to one side of her head. Then the bushes rustled once more, and out of them stepped a bear with a scowl on his brown-and-yellow face.

“Hi, Benjamin!” Itsy greeted her older brother brightly. “What are you doing here? Did you come to find the end a the rainbow, too?”

“I guess you could say that, in a way,” Benjamin answered in his growly way, but somehow he didn’t sound as gruff as he usually did when speaking to Itsy. Itsy cocked her head like the crow and studied Benjamin closely, but for once she didn’t say anything.

“We started looking for you,” Benjamin informed her, “as soon as we found out you were lost.”

“We didn’t get lost,” Itsy insisted indignantly. “We knowed where we was all the time.”

“Yeah, well, we didn’t,” Benjamin frowned down at her. “Mommola got worried when she started making dinner and you weren’t there to help.”

“Oh, we better get back then,” said Itsy. “Mommola needs my help. We can find the pot a honey at the end a the rainbow another time.”

“No need to seek any further,” Birnie assured her with a smile. “You’ve found it,” he said, sweeping one paw out to indicate the berry bushes, while holding Sparkie tight in his other arm.

“Them’s just berry bushes,” Itsy objected, “not pots a honey.”

“Oh, but they will be,” Birnie said, “once we spritz them with Mommola’s honeybee attractor juice next spring. Our honeybees will swarm out here and slurp up all the nectar from the berry flowers, and by next summer we’ll have pots and pots of black-and-red berry honey. Ummm, umm. That’s one of the finest kinds of honey you can make.”

“It is?” asked Itsy eagerly.

“It sure is,” said Biwi. “Simply delicious. A real treasure indeed.”

“Thanks to the four of you,” said Shoshonna. “You found all these berry bushes all on your own.”

“Yeah, we did,” said Itsy, suddenly very proud. “See, Lily-pop and Waldo and Sparkie, I tolded you we’d find the end a the rainbow.”

“Yeth,” said Lily-pop sleepily as she leaned up against Shoshonna chest. “We finded it.”

“Yeah, we had a abenture,” Sparkie told Birnie.

“I’m hungry,” Waldo informed them.

“Well, let’s get back then,” said Biwi. “Mommola’s holding dinner for us.”

Then Benjamin did something most unexpected. He stooped down, with his back to Itsy, then looked over his shoulder and said to her, “Come on, I’ll give you a ride.”

“I can walk,” insisted Itsy.

“Yeah, but we’ll get there faster if I give you a ride,” he said. “We don’t want to keep Mommola waiting do we?”

“No, I guess not,” she said reluctantly. Then she went over and climbed up on his back and wrapped her arms tightly around his shoulders as he reached back and gave her a seat on his paws and stood up, ready to go.

“Caw!” called out the crow. “Caw!”

Itsy looked up and waved to him. “Bye, black bird!” she called.

“That’s Sydney the crow,” Benjamin told her. “She showed us where you were.”

“She did?” asked Itsy, surprised. Then, as they started off through the bushes, she yelled up back at him, “Fank you, Sydney Crow! Fank you!”

“Caw!” came the response, and Sydney the crow flew up into the treetops.

Itsy turned her head back to Benjamin, thought a moment, then said loudly into his ears, “Fank you, too, Benjamin.”

“Well, you’re very welcome, little sister,” Benjamin responded.

“You’re being a good boy today!” she exclaimed.

“Oh, for heaven’s sake,” groused Benjamin. Then, under his breath, he murmured, “I should have known it couldn’t last.”

Suddenly Itsy took to hopping up and down on his back and started shouting, “Giddyup, horsie! Giddyup!”

“OoOh!” Benjamin exclaimed. Then, as Itsy continued to urge him on to a faster gait, he quieted some and mused philosophically, “Oh, well. You’ve got to take the bitter with the sweet, I guess.”

“Or, in this case,” observed Biwi, who was walking next to the two of them, with Waldo wrapped in his arms, “the Itsy with the honey.”

“Yetz!” agreed Itsy enthusiastically.

With that thought, they all picked up their pace, hurrying back to where Mommola and Dad and the rest of the Teds waited with a nice, warm dinner to welcome them home.

This one's for Uncle John and Aunt Karen, with love from Itsy.